Hulk fall down

Hulk play ping pong with niece and nephew and slip. Hulk glad for all martial arts training--fall on butt --no bruise. Hulk only had to use aikido three times in life:
1. Fall on slippery grass
2. Fall on ice
3. Fall on slippery concrete basement.

cats love christmas

This favorite time of year for kittehs.

mouse ache christmas

Finest in mouse fur....now with glasses.
more the engrish!

Christmas come early

X-mas come early for Hulk. Was smooshed totally frozen squirrel on front porch. Hulk SO dispose before take picture. Hulk think one of three theories on how squirrel get there.
1. Zero degrees and squirrel freeze to porch.
2. Local cat kill and bring to porch.
3. Hulk's mailman--who hate Hulk (and curse Hulk out) leave there because Hulk no give him xmas present.

Seriously, all three possible.

BTW--Hulk SO throw squirrel in gutter--that seem right but whatever.

Hulk on edge

It not take much to set Hulk off these days...here is evidence

Hulk Done!

Hulk finally finish exams. Can breathe now. Hulk finally venture into the world yesterday. This is expensive thing to do. Hulk friend call this the $100 exit tax...inflation more like $200 now. Venturing into the world Hulk hear and see strange things like:
Neo-Nazi's left leaflet on Hulk's car in Hyde Park.
Listening to the burn-out working at the pet store....this what he say " I don't have a car...I don't have a girlfriend...I don't have a girlfriend with a car...." He say in that order...Hulk really wanted to stay there all day he was like a yoda/butthead...he look awesome too--skinny guy about 20 with long shoulder-length hair with long stretchy face...classic.

Goth band names

Is it Hulk or do important terms in Wills sound like teenage Goth Band names?:
Omitted Child
Unworthy heirs
Scrivener's error
Undue Influence
Insane Delusion
Misdiscription

Rick-rolled

Hulk friend told Hulk that he drank "smooth-move" tea other night and almost shat himself. He not upset, Hulk would be upset. Maybe Hulk too sensitive.

Hulk pass ethics bar exam

Hulk pass MPRE (aka) the Multi-State Professional Responsibility Examination (for non-lawyer readers). Hulk pass good. Hulk score way higher than needed to take Ohio bar. Hulk SO say that make Hulk that much more ethical. Hulk say it not work that way, today Hulk email dean of students to be let in closed class so Hulk can drop other class. Hulk not tell her real reason want to take class....because Hulk hear other professor is bat-shit crazy and is failing his students and Hulk want to get out. She not believe Hulk anyway--Deans never believe students...especially mutants.

bears!

Hulk not like Stephen Colbert with aversion to bears. Hulk need hug today. No matter this bear will tear eyes out--still worth it.

Oh joy

Hulk trying finish outlines today--two last topics--in Wills, Rule Against Perpetuities and in Employment Law--ERISA. Two worst things to learn. One messed up law even Supreme Court get wrong. One created because some feudal lord had retarded son. Not really matter which is which. Time to make "Hulk's homemade Prozac."

The outline drinking game

1. Drink every time write statute.
2. Drink twice every time write statute wrong and spell check have to catch it.
3. Drink every time write PP for public policy.
4. Drink every time write "majority."

Hulk think outlining more fun--would not have liver by end of exam week but would be fun....

Leader robes

Hulk need these "leader" robes Hulk see on TV. Will be both warm and member of cult. This seems win-win to Hulk

Schoolbus!!

Hulk hate neighborhood school-bus. Sits in front of Hulk house and idles and beeps--thing is--kid never comes. Need to give it up school bus ...with your no seat belt make traffic stop gang of hoodlums inside. Hulk trying finish outlines. Bad enough already. Go away and never come back....(LOTR on all weekend).

Gimme trial anyday

If Hulk ever have doubt about which direction to take--trial lawyer or law professor is no more. Hulk have "final trial" tomorrow. Hulk think getting ready for trial is giant pain in butt. True. Doing trial is kind of fun sometimes. After tomorrow at about 5:30 will be done forever. Hulk's law review article keeps coming back to Hulk one more edit you must do, (add snarky comment from them) it appears will never be done. If this what law professors go through (which Hulk thinks no--are picking on Hulk because is student)then Hulk no want. Bad thing is Hulk getting another article published with co-author professor--Hulk have to do all over again? Hope not will die.

gymastics time

Hulk need cheer up today...this will do.

Curse of the remaindermen

Hulk think move past "future interests" when take Property exam. Are back--use in trust documents. Hulk not understand them--book say well, when come to reversions just memorize this rule...

O, owner of fee simple, will not have a reversion in fee simple if O transfers a possessory fee simple or a vested remainder in fee simple; in all other cases where O transfers a present possessory interest, O will have a reversion in fee simple.

Sure, no problem...Hulk memorize...

WTF....why not talk simple like Hulk? C'mon....C.

The cult

Ok Hulk become obsessed with this baby stoat. Yes stoat, member of weasel family. Hulk not know why Hulk obsessed with this picture but has become cult of Hulkonality. Hulk not only one--others in cult.

hot dog!

Negotiate on this

Hulk take "negotiation" class. Easy for Hulk. Everyone tell Hulk --Hulk do such a good job--is super easy Hulk always get what Hulk want. Hulk think monkey could do same job...law student lack social skill of monkey.

Ethics

Hulk take bar ethics exam--very good chance Hulk fail. Problem is "smash client" is never one of the options. Have to pick from other--less ideal options. Also--number 2 pencil no stand a chance in meaty Hulk-hand. This did happen--bug flew and hit Hulk on face in middle of exam--this too weird. Why Hulk? Of course, hitting Hulk face stunned bug severely. What are chances of getting hit with bug inside in November?

Hulk not Anton Chigurh

Hulk not give this picture to hair-dude...why he hate Hulk so much. Maybe Hulk should go Anton Chigurh on him. Haircut failed below what a reasonable person would expect. Negligent haircut.

Hulk not Golem

Hulk get bad haircut. People lie and say look nice. Problem is look exactly like Golem. Hulk not want to look like Golem--Hulk senior composite photo coming--Hulk is not pleased. Might need emergency re-do...have own monster identity. Hulk would at least look better with "the Rachel."

Children afraid

Hulk have candy. Hulk hear children. Children not come to house. Hulk think they are scared of Hulk. Neighbors never accept Hulk even after 5 years. (single tear....)Now Hulk have way too much candy.

Hulk Haiku

Law students are dumb.
Smash! Think they are so smart. Ha!
Still bruise like humans.

Character and Fitness

Hulk have bar examiner's character and fitness interview today. Ask Hulk about job Hulk have for 3 weeks. Hulk quit very abruptly--was very bad place. Hulk think immoral. Hulk think quitting immoral place good sign of character...but what Hulk know? Was a little awkward -Hulk hear story from attorney at work with almost exact same story--obviously ok to sit for bar--Hulk think ok too. Good thing not ask about gratuitous smashing.

Someday....Hulk Chill out

Someday Hulk get chance to chill out for now have to settle for artist rendering.

Hulk smackdown

Hulk coach arbitration team. Is stupid. Hulk not get credit or pay--Hulk stupid. Hulk have to put smack-down on student with head up butt. Students think will win but make whiny excuses about practice. Will not win--guaranteed. Not want it bad enough. Why Hulk care anyway?

Damn you Gonzaga!!

Hulk article being published soon but editors tell Hulk need to rewrite some stuff. Hulk no time to rewrite stuff. Say "is not publishable in current state" fix in week. Hulk can fix though --Hulk just need to give scholar more shout outs and do something called "paraphrasing." Hulk not sure what this is--just going to put more f-bombs in those sentences--Hulk think that will make the sentence more Hulk's voice.

Pipe Dream

Yea Toledo. Joe the Plummer. He delinquent in taxes. Not licensed to "plumb" either. Why Hulk think that Joe never realize his dream of being in upper tax bracket?
Hulk brother dentist who is business owner will talk at Hulk about this crap no matter who wins on Thanksgiving. Hulk not cry in soup for him--Hulk spend all of month's money today on "shingle repair."

dirty legal words

Here following list of legal terms of art that sound dirty but are not:

Hotchpot (Hulk like saying this like when yell Yahtzee!)
Intestacy
Piercing the corporate veil
Portal to Portal Act

Not term of art...but mentioned:
Court-packing

Now you try. If you no lawyer--must be profession you are in or used to be...here Hulk have advantage big time.

Hulk trial

Hulk have fake trial today. Went ok. Class takes up too much Hulk time. Photo is Hulk cross examining technique. Work good.

Japanese Cat Weightlifting

"wall street" w/3 "main street" = punch in the throat

If one more person say those words in same sentence--Hulk punch right in throat. Tom Brokaw, Hulk hear you this morning.

Smooth Jazz

Hulk hear college student car stereo and not know why frat boy listen to "smooth jazz" like twinkly Warm 98 stuff. Then Hulk listen close. Pretty sure was Dave Matthews Band. Hulk realize Dave Matthews Band is one vocal track away from Muzak.

"Cocktail" solution

Hulk starting to get better....now Hulk realize how very screwed Hulk is on getting all school projects done. Is really bad. Not enough "rescue remedy" in world for stress. Hulk need something stronger like Valium. Except then Hulk sleepy during the day and need to work very hard...will need uppers for day...but then won't be able to sleep--need more Valium. On no, Hulk will turn into Judy Garland. Better just suck it up and ignore daytime teeth grinding.

Round 2

Hulk sick three weeks--no good go back to doctor she say "well...you could get more antibiotics or wait it out".....Hulk say in law school...she say "well that makes that decision." Hulk have sinus induced pink-eye again too. Hulk feel like leper. Beginning to think Hulk have one white blood cell left in fight of his life.

puppy aikido

Notice lighter colored puppy have "soft focus" in midst of aggression. He true master.

storm buzz words

Recent storm make Hulk think that some buzz words would make good drink names/sex positions/band names:
Dirty Squirrel
wind gusts
the blackout
loose shingle

These words not so much:
insurance adjuster
toppled chimney
economic waste

na na na na na leader....

This group have reputation for being cult---after watching this Hulk see why. Please click here. Is amazing.... keep watching for "solo." Now Hulk want to join.

Attic Creature

Hulk thought this might happen. Hulk SO hears a creature. Hulk thinks it is not a roof kitty but a dirty squirrel. Hulk no good access to attic to put trap up there...squirrel might need to hope it finds way out before roofers come...

Hulk house smash

Hulk house get smashed by wind--lose lots of shingles and big tree a mangled mess. Probably lose tree. But school closed--that good for Hulk. Hulk have power...for some reason Norwood not have this problem --get work done in crap shack today. Hulk dad have hole in roof recently and kitty come in--maybe that happen to Hulk! Roof kitty!!

Bear cub aikido

Weight on the front foot!!

Things Hulk learn while sick

Hulk learn many things while sick here list of some of them:
1. New Price is Right worse than old version.
2. You can have teeth too white (see "The Hills").
3. Old expired Nyquil works fine.
4. Hulk SO "not like" when Hulk cough all night....of course, Hulk love waking self up with spasms and each cough feel like sandpaper ripping across throat.
5. The cats no lead rich, fulfilling lives--really just lay around all day.

America's most busted pharmacy

Hulk sick get worse. Have to get medicine. Go to pharmacy and they do not want to fill Hulk's 'scrips. Why you ask? The computer system was down between them and insurance company--so they turn people away. One guy mumble something about insulin. Hulk outraged. They have medicine... quit being the insurance company's bitch. They try to pull that crap on Hulk. Hulk say why not call this handy 1-800 number on Hulk insurance card. Duh--does work. Idiots. Hulk get medicine--pay way too much but that another matter.

Hulk have special talent

Hulk have amazing ability to get sick on Friday afternoons and destroy weekend. Literally felt sick at 5:00 pm. Hulk then realize have 101 degree fever. That night Hulk tell SO that Hulk is going to die. SO says, "Now that's a bit dramatic." Hulk say, "You'll regret saying that when I'm dead."

Jumpsuit to Xanadu

When save image Hulk VERY tempted to "Set image as Desktop background."

Easy class

Hulk take easiest law class ever. Is called Interviewing Negotiating and Counseling. Class is like empowerment session with your mom. Reading book is hardest part because seem so basic---here quote, "The primary means of obtaining information during the overview phase of the interview is the posing of a series of questions to the client." Well duh. Here Hulk advice on successful interview:
1. Now matter what client say--don't do spit take.
2. No audible farts.
3. Don't let client see posting on blog while talking.

Only law school would take what is basic social skills thing and turn into class.

New look.... same old disgusting

Hulk have new food court in student union at school--look like might be delicious. If possible is worse than before. Interior design make it seem like food might be good. Food is all made in same industrial food sweatshop. Hulk try to make healthiest choice--swear they try to make gross. We thought you not mind we soak your veggie burger in lard--ok? And worst part--now more expensive--Hulk give up. Hulk only eat what Hulk can fit in pockets on way out door.

Hoochie for VP

This photo might be fake but Hulk have ideas for captions anyway--feel free to add own:
McCain "straight talk express" just added cocktail cabin.
She look like beginning of porn--take off glasses and get rid banana clip in hair...get to executive business.
Clinton really regret Gore choice now....
McCain/Viagra 2008
She no Margaret Thatcher

real picture

This real picture from 1990. Want to see more?

Good luck Amy P.

Hulk friend first day of law school. Hulk wishes good luck--she smarter than Hulk so she not really need luck. Still, will be subject to jerk students as cannot be avoided ...good luck with that.

Job offers

Hulk forget that many students get permanent job offers this time of year. Hulk job different --find out on graduation day. Other students think this outrageous. Hulk know this tradition where work. Other students probably think "Naked Spanking Machine Fridays" weird too.

2012 logo

Ok this logo for next Olympics it cost over $725,000. Is rubbish. Some say it look like a favorite Simpson's character doing something out of character. Some say look like swastika. Hulk think it look like a pile of garbage. Remind Hulk of logo for Phoenix Coyotes hockey team which looked like stack of boxes with hockey stick.

Dave Chappelle "incident"

Hulk go to Yellow Springs today. Eat lunch at place called "Winds" no joke--is famous place. Hulk and S.O. joke about seeing Dave Chappelle then he right there walking on street. Now Hulk big fan but KNOW Dave is very shy so Hulk not say anything....Hulk's S.O. however, say "Hi Dave! Can I have a picture?" Hulk knew this not cool. He say no. Hulk shake head... Hulk S.O. lose many many cool points.

school is jerk

Law School semester not even start and Hulk already angry. Financial aid must think Hulk make too much money and cut student loan at last second. Hulk have to use up savings to pay....Hulk need that money for twizzlers and gold plated toilets.

"Vagina power" show

This real public access show--is long and is NOT appropriate for work. Is awesome. At 3min 30--best reference to Long John Silvers ever.

Earwig strikes again

Every four years Hulk forget about commentator Al Trautwig. But he commentator on Olympics. Is possibly one of stupidest people on TV. That say a lot. On a good day his commentary fogs the mind--on bad day Hulk smash toilet--make you poop in street. Bill Walton close second.

Damages

This story involve everything Hulk interested in: religion, smashing and frivious civil lawsuits. Joel Osteen wife smash flight attendant in boob with elbow when first class seat have stain. Flight attendant sue lady preacher. She want 10% of lady net worth (reverse tithing) and here list of other damages:
According to court documents, Brown claims that she suffers from anxiety and hemorrhoids because of the incident involving Victoria Osteen and said her faith was affected.

adventures at camp I

Hulk go to New Jersey for aikido camp. Needed to stop and sleep at 3 am one motel room left in Ohio. Hulk walk in and overwhelming stench--smell like monkey steal homeless man coat with BO smell--wear and rub it all over furniture.

Hulk go summer camp

Hulk go to summer camp this week. This sound fun like eat s'mores whole time--this aikido camp--more like people throw Hulk and try not to get two black eyes. Why Hulk this good idea for vacation? Maybe Hulk learn mad skills. Hulk think anything better than answering interrogatories.

Hulk house

Hulk look for new house...this seem just right.

scary wreck

Hulk always think word realtor always sound like some kind dinosaur--now have proof. Hulk look at big book of realtor's cards today--was super awesome fun. Hulk also find realtor named Debbie Dauner--no joke. Find one photo--swear they did screen shot of "Tootsie" and said that...that what want to look like...

Samurai Accident

If not see yet--is classic. If see already--still is classic.

Horse Moth

You 'da man

Congratulations Amy S. on promotion. You 'da man. Literally--Hulk think you the man now. Hulk think you glad change Alternative Minimum Tax. Maybe Amy turn little republican?...maybe think John McCain some good ideas now?

Hellboy II

Is very good. Hulk like. Hulk never see "Hulk" movie--Hulk still mad about Ang Lee version--fool Hulk once... Hulk movie rubbish. Hellboy II --green thumbs up.

Animatronic Usher

Brilliant person reprogram Animatronic to Usher song. Keep watching at least through bridge.

Funniest Scholar Ever

Law scholar look exactly like comedian David Cross. Is scary.

Which is "real" David Cross? Only tell because of microphone.

Training with kids

Hulk practice martial art with kid tonight. One guy little was like training with monkey. Hulk thigh bigger than kid waist...but that true for some adults too. Hulk also train with awkward teenager. Smell like industrial glue with just hint of BO. Between each technique shrug and adjust just like old Rodney Dangerfield bit....no respect.

Big Boob Jeopardy

Hulk randomly watch Jeopardy. See ex-co-worker and friend on there. Her boobs look big on TV--Hulk think TV add ten pounds? Five in each boob? Then Hulk remember her boobs that big in real life. Now Hulk believe everything see on TV.

Michael Clayton

Hulk just see movie Michael Clayton. Hulk work for plaintiff firm. Apparently work for defense is dangerous and soul crushing--at plaintiff's firm worst thing happen is make fun of haircut.

Hulk Get Sick

Hulk weak to invisiable viruses. Hulk get sick on same day Hulk movie come out. Coincidence? Hulk feel better just in time to go back to work.

Signs you are getting robbed

Hulk see this --no kidding--test for bank manager name 6 of the 10 signs you might be getting robbed.
These Hulk favorite:
1. Large bags
2. Wigs
3. Masks

Rough week

Hulk have horrible week at work, here not exhaustive example of things:
1. Awkward greeting and subsequent exchange with big boss.
2. Look through so many documents this week Hulk fall asleep for one second with eyes open--freak Hulk out.
3. Partner put hand out--Hulk slap it like "high-five"--she want Hulk's security card--not high five.
4. Also worst project ever---involve giant box of documents, two Teamsters and an area of Labor Law no attorneys know about because they not take Labor Law--up to Hulk alone.
5. Stockbroker confess to Hulk--never read a book in his life. His annual salary in a "bad year" $350.000...make Hulk want to cry.

Was bad times for Hulk...

Neurotic Hulk

Was quirky before-- now work have four law clerks. This make Hulk nervous and anxious. Now Hulk have to kill three people instead of just the one. One guy seem nice.... too bad for him.
Hulk work tell Hulk not enough work to hire Hulk maybe...then find out hiring new attorney. This make Hulk angry--Hulk feel getting jerked around.

--Hulk birthday tomorrow. Hurrah.

Hulk in Chi-town

Hulk wear a "small" in Chi-Town everyone is fat. Make Hulk feel skinny.
Other interesting tidbits:
Hulk see paraplegic sea turtle that only swam at 45 degree angle.
Many people in Chicago have tuberculous.
Some lady confuse Hulk with "server" and think going to help lady get a table. Hulk say "I don't know" and run away and take last table.
There is bar called Map Room full of very heavily bearded bartenders and delicious beer.

Was good time.

Hulk done!

This longest semester ever. Finally finish take home exam today. Hulk hate that class too. Not care anymore! Hulk go to Chi-town next week using "stimulus money" from government. Hulk patriotic.

Hulk exam

Hard to put into words how much Hulk hate exams. Hulk not done yet-one more take home. Then Hulk go on vacation. This worst schedule yet. Almost kill Hulk. Hulk's power very weak now.

Hulk's check

Hulk finally get check for nerdy law competition. Hulk forget about the money. Was not much anyway. Letter that come with it funniest thing ever. Read like one of those "books" parent buy for kid and insert the hobby of kid. Letter look like this:
Dear Hulk,
Congratulations on winning (insert final result here). Your professors from (insert law school school here) must be very proud. ...Something about friends (insert teammates names)...

Was very funny.

Hulk Hungry!

Is exam-time. Hulk literally eat self out of house and home. Eat all the food. Too busy to get more. Hulk reduced to eating "stoner" food like frozen waffles.
Legal words changing to food descriptions like: Divisible Delicious Doctrine.

Crazy Hat Day

Hulk love work but place is one step away from "Crazy Hat Day." Yesterday "Staff Appreciation Day" gave Hulk card with some cash. Was like monopoly. Secret Santa there is like no other place Hulk work--campaigns, smoke screens and red herrings... is very complicated.

Hulk on top

Thank you to friends of Hulk-- downloaded paper. Made #2 download for Labor Law papers...of course is labor law, kind of naturally lame. Number one on lists no one cares about like "religion." Don't be shy and keep downloading--Hulk want to get to triple digits. Not sure why anymore but, whatever.

Provoke Hulk

Hulk have enemy at law school. Enemy act nice to Hulk today but say weird things. Thought maybe move up to "frenemy" status. Tell Hulk over and over about a boy who not like Hulk. Tell Hulk three times all the mean things boy say. Enemy try to provoke Hulk to anger while pretending to be nice. Hulk BFF point out that not nice at all--jackass. He say next time he talk to Hulk tell him to "grab wrist."

Hulk is jackass

Professor say to Hulk, Hulk writing better. Hulk response--"I know!" This make Hulk seem like jackass. What Hulk mean to say is that is not as hard as before but come out wrong. Hulk stick foot in mouth again and again.

Frenemy

Hulk have frenemies. Hulk knows is hard to be Hulk friend. Is Hulk channel 24/7. Law school make worse. Exam time make much worse. Is Hulk cubed. Hulk recognize on a meta-level that may not be a Hulk-shaped universe, but no empirical evidence to prove it not a Hulk-shaped universe. Whoa....Hulk just blow Hulk's own mind.

Fake judge

Hulk fake judge for class but no power to hold students in contempt. Other students had to "work together." This never work for law students. Fight over stupid stuff--is always bad.

Carry on Japanese Girl

Props to Diablo Cody.

Hulk back

Hulk new hard drive--stupid laptop. Hulk have things to re-do took long time to catch up. Hulk take 2 classes in fall with no exam. Finally learning. Learn today get $1.50 raise. wow. Hulk worry bump into high tax bracket.

What else for Hulk

Hulk hard drive die. Luckily most files saved--Hulk lost a little. What else will happen to Hulk? Can't a green monster catch a break?

Way to step up co-worker

Hulk Carma

Even though Hulk saved car from destruction yesterday--could not save it from neighborhood a-holes. Someone "scraped & ran" Hulk's car last night. Hulk car too old to fix but Hulk angry. If Hulk catch person--Hulk punch them in neck.

Yamada Claus

This for Hulk's dojo friends:
Sing this to Santa Claus Coming to Town:
You better watch out--better not cry, better not tank--Hulk telling you why....Yamada Sensei coming to town...
He sees you when you falling, he knows when you awake--he knows when Hulk been bad or good....so be good for goodness sake...(or get smooshed).

p.s non-aikidoka pic not Yamada.

Super Hulk!

Hulk car try to run away. Hulk accidentally leave in gear with no emergency brake. It rolling in parking lot Hulk mash body against...Hulk think this either smartest thing Hulk done or dumbest--get run over by own car. Turn out smart. Hulk stop car and save day.

She-Hulk

Ok She-Hulk is a lawyer. Hulk not kidding.

This from wikipedia--"A highly skilled lawyer, she has served as legal counsel to various superheroes on numerous occasions."

What legal troubles superheroes have?
Tort claims-natch..
Conspiracy-maybe...
DUI--probably

Who wear short shorts

Every year charity auction. Shy professor make dinner for you. Hulk hear last year he show up in short-frayed jean shorts and white nasty T-shirt and oven broken. Hulk wonder is shorts so short that guest see "meat and two veg." That make Hulk shudder.

Car Frisk

We learn today ok to "frisk" a car. Hulk think not ok to probe tailpipe--that greater invasion of privacy. Maybe ok to fondle headlights. Hulk nervous about muffler "reach around"--HOT--but not in good way.

Despondent Gingerbreadman

It rain all day--not warm either. Near Hulk is some apartments with special offers. Person hold sign--like "free rent" Last week was snowman. Today was very sad gingerbreadman. Hulk think costume made out of foam. This is bad for sign man.

Red Hulk

Ok now there is now a "red Hulk" which may or not be Bruce Banner:
This from newspaper:

"I wanted to bring a danger back to the book," Loeb says. "The Red Hulk is the kind of Hulk we haven't seen before — a thinking, calculating, brutal weapon-toting kind of Hulk.

"Everything the Green Hulk isn't, the Red Hulk is."

Red Hulk might be alternative universe Hulk--the one that went to business school instead of law school. Smash the business paradigm and outsource! Everyone independent contractors!

Family law

Hulk take family law. This class for retards--no offense to DR lawyers--I'm sure real life this complex (no kill Hulk Shawn D.) but so far Hulk learn--no marry sister, no two wives--you gay unless in Massachusetts--good luck with that. Maybe when Hulk get to divorce stuff it will get difficult. So far, dumb squirrel understand. When Hulk think class easy this scare Hulk. This reverse law school proportionate theory. Simple class you get "C" hard class you get "A" or in Hulk's case "B+" Why this way?

squirrel

Hulk hear funny noise. Hulk realize that noise is squirrel slipping and falling off roof because of snow. Squirrel not land "pretty" Hulk think hurt himself real bad. But get up and run away--look real freaked out. Hulk laugh.

Geneva Convention Violations

New Rule--
No eat in Evidence class--this dumb. Hulk think professor violate Geneva Convention in following ways:
1. Violence to the person--all kinds including cruel treatment and torture.
Anyone in class know this violated twice a week.
2. Outrages against dignity in particular humiliation and degrading treatment.
4 minute bathroom break, no food.

Professor say we can bring water in any form--soon waterboarding...by end of semester will be photo of naked hooded students in pile with little girl pointing at us...

Courtroom a hollerin'

"Member of jury--Hulk simple county lawyer..."

Good name for case

Stoner v. California, 376 U.S. 483 (1964). It not class action suit--but should be.

Job offers

Hulk just read ABA "Student Lawyer"--which funny itself--probably most recycled unread magazine next to "Reach."
Hulk normally use it to catch fresh cat puke--throw magazine under cat when hear special puke sounds. Anyway--Hulk procrastinating and read "how to offer job offers with aplomb." This funny--this how Hulk see job offer go:
Hulk: "Please give job I graduated--no longer student."
Job: "Ok, I'll give you $5,000 you have to bring your own coffee and pens."
Hulk: "Ok--thank you."

Article talk about how deal with multiple job offers--in Cincinnati that mean--Chipotle, Gap, mail room at KMK.

student weatherman

intersexual professor

Hulk find this professor photo. Hulk know lady because of pearl necklace. Otherwise think this Edward Furlong in new John Waters movie.

slow death by Evidence

Professor of Evidence most boring ever. Hulk really hear other students say things like:
"I searched the web so long, I found the end of it." and
"If I could, in that class I would take my pencil and stick it in my eye such that it would go all the way to my brain so it would kill me...but I just don't trust my aim."

school smash

Hulk burnt out on school--
Here some reasons:
1. School is jockocracy--right now student in class eating raw sweet potato because he think he will be next ultimate fighting champion. Answer no.
2. Professors think we retarded--This happen just now--"Can you think of a public figure that hasn't told the truth?" Wonder why no participate?
3. Four minute bathroom break--infringed liberty and flashback to Catholic School.

Japanese Treadmill

Ok, Hulk have weakness for crazy Japanese game shows. Wait for the gaijin at the end--the second time he goes--at the very end. Baka des ne.

Make up names

Hulk not know names of ILs so Hulk make up names based on appearance. This partial list:
Harry Potter
Sarge
Smooshface-Headband
Teddy bear
Paper Chase

Law students see if match names--make game.
Hint--hair is important characteristic.
Also, Harry Potter really looks like Harry Potter.

Green party

People assume Hulk member of Green Party. But that too literal. Hulk think that party conventions should be combined. Like MC/off...Here Hulk ideas--Spoken word MC contest between Henry Rollins and Ann Coulter. Krunking contest between Dem crew --Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Nancy Pelosi vs. Rep crew with Newt Gingrich, Pat Robinson and Karl Rove. Joe Lieberman only allowed to watch...Hulk guarantee ratings.

Dance party...

Oh the 'nati....

Human tetris

This Japanese game show--Hulk favorite thing.

hot law professor

In all fairness, Hulk post hot law professor photo. She teach at Loyola in Los Angeles. Bryce, you can transfer there-Hulk look up requirements--you fine. Hulk give caveat: 1. This picture not most updated and 2. Besides teaching feminine jurisprudence she also on Loyola's "itty bitty tittie committee."

cool professor

Hulk find this awesome law school professor photo. Look like senior photo. Only thing better would be if holding tennis racket.

Bugs!

Hulk dream crazy. This true--Hulk dream giant bugs crawling on walls--look like cross between lobster and silverfish but about 6 inches long. Here funny thing--in dream bugs called Lochners. This code in Supreme Court decisions when Court screwed up. This very nerdy thing to call monsters. Hulk read that dream about bugs mean something in life not in control. Hulk in law school. Why no Hulk dream about bugs every night?

p.s.--Hulk super-nerd-- double check spell Lochner right and edit post because the Court in Supreme Court always capitalized and was not....Hulk need vacation already.

How to look cool

Hulk say these things avoid doing in public if you want maximum coolness:
1. Asking someone to feel biceps ( Hulk see someone do this at school today).
2. Tie your shoe--necessary-sure, but look dumb.
3. Apply chapstick,
4. Drink from straw.
5. Lick ice cream cone
6. Eat Mexican food--is possible but usually disaster.
7. Walk with "spring" in step or all out "skip."
8. Use weight machine for inner thigh with legs splayed.

This list not exhaustive.

gargle girl

Girl talk in class always sound like gargling. This make legal argument seems like being conducted underwater. She not even talking about riparian rights. She just very phlemy.

Hulk's transformation

This apparently list all Hulk's transformations--Hulk not remember all of these--but Hulk pretty angry at the time....

http://kennethjohnson.us/HulkOutList.html

smart belly

Hulk talk to professor and professor say Hulk smart and point to Hulk's belly. Hulk look down very confused. Hulk think Hulk smartness not in belly--Hulk smart in brain--much higher. Hulk realize professor so short that as high as professor can point. Hulk professor shaped like perfect sphere. Height inches and waist size same number.

My name is....

Hulk in cafeteria and notice worker-lady name tag just say Gay. This unfortunate name. She not look gay but too hard to tell. Cafeteria worker is least sexy job ever, no one see cafeteria lady and think --wow, want rip off dirty polyester smock now and take her.

Florida bitches

Hulk do well in nerdy competition. Hulk beat many schools to make national semi-finals but lose in semis which mean Hulk still a little cool. To prove cool Hulk start smoking in middle of cross examination. Hulk did receive fake "Price is right" type check for $75. All Hulk work comes down to novelty check made with foam-core. That poetic.

Before Hulk leave he in student lounge. Lounge had three students who Hulk like but not FOH (friends of Hulk). They not know Hulk going to Florida to compete. But Hulk forget this so Hulk say when walking out "See ya later bitches--I'm going to Florida." Hulk get funny looks. Hulk not normally call them bitches...not on bitches terms.

Finally!!

Ok, Hulk finally blog now. Hulk been busy. Finally get priorities straight.
Hulk going to Florida tomorrow to compete in nerdy law competition. Will be socially awkward guaranteed. Law not Hulk's first profession--lawyers....not right---Hulk tell guy last night where he work and guy say well "at least not Elk & Elk". You full of tact. Today Hulk say hi to professor in hall--man look at feet and mumble hello like shy geisha--then--in class grill Hulk for twenty minutes like on cross examination.