How to look cool

Hulk say these things avoid doing in public if you want maximum coolness:
1. Asking someone to feel biceps ( Hulk see someone do this at school today).
2. Tie your shoe--necessary-sure, but look dumb.
3. Apply chapstick,
4. Drink from straw.
5. Lick ice cream cone
6. Eat Mexican food--is possible but usually disaster.
7. Walk with "spring" in step or all out "skip."
8. Use weight machine for inner thigh with legs splayed.

This list not exhaustive.

gargle girl

Girl talk in class always sound like gargling. This make legal argument seems like being conducted underwater. She not even talking about riparian rights. She just very phlemy.

Hulk's transformation

This apparently list all Hulk's transformations--Hulk not remember all of these--but Hulk pretty angry at the time....

http://kennethjohnson.us/HulkOutList.html

smart belly

Hulk talk to professor and professor say Hulk smart and point to Hulk's belly. Hulk look down very confused. Hulk think Hulk smartness not in belly--Hulk smart in brain--much higher. Hulk realize professor so short that as high as professor can point. Hulk professor shaped like perfect sphere. Height inches and waist size same number.

My name is....

Hulk in cafeteria and notice worker-lady name tag just say Gay. This unfortunate name. She not look gay but too hard to tell. Cafeteria worker is least sexy job ever, no one see cafeteria lady and think --wow, want rip off dirty polyester smock now and take her.

Florida bitches

Hulk do well in nerdy competition. Hulk beat many schools to make national semi-finals but lose in semis which mean Hulk still a little cool. To prove cool Hulk start smoking in middle of cross examination. Hulk did receive fake "Price is right" type check for $75. All Hulk work comes down to novelty check made with foam-core. That poetic.

Before Hulk leave he in student lounge. Lounge had three students who Hulk like but not FOH (friends of Hulk). They not know Hulk going to Florida to compete. But Hulk forget this so Hulk say when walking out "See ya later bitches--I'm going to Florida." Hulk get funny looks. Hulk not normally call them bitches...not on bitches terms.

Finally!!

Ok, Hulk finally blog now. Hulk been busy. Finally get priorities straight.
Hulk going to Florida tomorrow to compete in nerdy law competition. Will be socially awkward guaranteed. Law not Hulk's first profession--lawyers....not right---Hulk tell guy last night where he work and guy say well "at least not Elk & Elk". You full of tact. Today Hulk say hi to professor in hall--man look at feet and mumble hello like shy geisha--then--in class grill Hulk for twenty minutes like on cross examination.